The Marsh Marsh Chronicals

I hated myself immediately, but being the stubborn bitch I am the majority of the time, I just could not cease and desist. I guess I just assumed that you didn't want to talk to me. I let myself get upset over a status from weeks ago, that probably didn't have anything to do with me. But, of course, I read too much into it. Constantly, I wanted to call you but I always felt that you didn't want to talk. I forgot that if I someone wants something bad enough they make it happen. You're right. I don't know anything about anything anymore, cause I haven't been around. Why I haven't been, I do not know. I guess it started over a year ago after my suicide attempt. I just feel like I want to talk about me all the time and I feel guilty about that. I'm a burden to everyone as it is and after that, it just got worse. I know, it doesn't matter. Hell, I know in the larger picture of the universe I don't matter nor do any of my supposed problems. Unl

     The amount of stress I'm under has reached a new peak. Not only are the stresses of school really getting to me, but also some other stuff I won't be able to really talk about until I know something for sure. But, lets just say the uncertainty in both the immediate and long term future has got me panicking.  Right now, I'm so tired of school and with my graduation coming up, I'm not nearly as motivated as I should be. I guess you could say I'm burnt out.      I suppose the only way I can deal with my emotions is to type something out. Or maybe just cry. I don't know.  I just need some time to process everything going on, but I don't have the luxury of time.      Right now, I should be doing school work, but after a long day of school that starts around 6am and work that last until around 10:00 pm, I just do not have the energy.      I know, I know...I could call my friends and family who love me. But, talking doesn't really help. I end up just